The Bark that Bites

Complaining about noise in New York City is pretty inane. All day and night New Yorkers are subject to a cacophony of unpleasant noises: honking taxis, blaring sirens, screaming lunatics and . . . barking dogs. It’s the soundscape of the city, part of what makes New York New York. To get upset about someone’s barking dog in the middle of the day (entirely acceptable in the middle of the night, by the way) is simply pathetic — but it’s something I’m upset about. Unnecessary barking really gets on my nerves.

I’m not upset about barking for obvious reasons, although I do sort of feel like reducing the noise level might make life in the city a tad less jarring. What bothers me about barking dogs is that it’s usually the sign of an undisciplined, and therefore unhappy, dog.

Occasionally dogs bark when they’re happy: when they see their favorite people after a prolonged absence, or maybe when they’re playing with another dog in the park. Incessant barking, however, is not healthy. It indicates the dog is distressed or neurotic.

I will allow that some dogs are barkers and it’s hard to stop them. So, what’s the solution?

Simple: make an effort.

The following are a few barking situations, and what owners should do about them, at a minimum:

Problem: Is your dog barking maniacally at others dogs as you stand on the corner while you wait for a traffic light, for example? Or when you’re seated at an outdoor restaurant (and how rude is that, that your dog goes nuts while people are trying to enjoy a meal)? What I usually see in this scenario is the owner who looks at the dog, then says in a resigned voice, “oh stop.” What are the chances the dog is going to stop?! Zero.

Solution: At a very least give the leash a sharp tug, tell the dog "no!" and make her sit. In the longer term, if your dog has serious problems, work with a trainer to get your dog to remain calm in these apparently stressful situations.


Problem: Your dog barks all day long while you’re at work, or when you go out for the evening. Your neighbors complain and your landlord has been issuing you warnings.

Solution: "I’m sorry, I can’t help it," or "I never hear it," doesn’t cut it. You need to be responsible to your neighbors, and you need a professional’s help. If you can’t afford a behaviorist, start by keeping your dog in a crate while you’re away. No arguments. Look it up in all the training books. It’s not cruel and it’s not going to make your dog sad — that’s you projecting your own neuroses. Get the crate. If it’s still a problem, then pay for a behaviorist – you’ve got problems and this is your responsibility. No excuses. This is not acceptable.


Problem: Your dogs are in the little fenced in area in front of your beautiful, multi-million dollar town house, sitting next to your nanny and your child, barking incessantly at apparently nothing. [Okay, this is clearly a personal peeve, but it’s still relevant.]

Solution: Take your dog inside. We are already a little resentful about your extravagant wealth. We don’t need the extra reminder of your existence. Have some respect for your community and go inside.


When I see a dog barking excessively and an owner watching passively, my first thought is that the owner’s negligence is bordering on abusive. My second thought that the owner has contempt for me and everyone nearby. There is nothing acceptable about this situation. If you’re letting this happen, you’re rude and disrespectful, and your dog is undisciplined. Behave!