One of the worst aspects of being a new puppy owner is having to deal with all the knuckleheads who pounce on you with a thousand-and-one “do’s” and “don’ts”. People come out of every possible crevice to tell you stories and give you the most emphatic advice you’ve ever heard. More amusing -- and simultaneously depressing -- is that many of these sidewalk Cesars have never owned a dog in their life. They have a friend, who knows a guy, whose sister-in-law . . . .
The dogs don’t even need to be puppies. One chilly, but not impossibly cold winter day, as I walked a golden retriever, a cocker spaniel, and a standard poodle (all hearty, outdoor hunting breeds), a madman dressed in a business suit began loudly berating me for having the dogs out in the cold. “Do you have any clue what you’re talking about?” I asked, at equal volume, “It could be 30 degrees colder and these dogs would happily dive into a frozen lake, with no ill effects whatsoever.” He gaped at me, ignorance exposed, then blustered down the street trying to regain his self-sacrificed dignity.
But, I myself have to admit to being guilty of providing unsolicited advice on a regular basis. I guess it's because every time I see someone with a new puppy, I worry for the dog's well-being. There really are a lot of inexperienced and ill-informed pet owners out there. And, I usually have some experience backing up my words. The truth of the matter is, however, the owners didn't ask for my advice and probably didn't want it. I usually try to mitigate my intrusion by saying, "I don't mean to give you unsolicited advice, but . . . " which of course, I do mean to. I also like to qualify my unwanted counsel by saying something to the effect of, "I'm just saying this because I work with dogs on a daily basis, blah, blah, blah." It still doesn't give me the right to intrude, but at least they can consider the source of the information.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that we should either leave them alone, or give the new dog owners a chance to squirm away from our advice, even if we’re so bent on giving it. Say something like, “look, I know people are giving you tips all day long, but . . .” and then let them know, for what it’s worth, that they can take it or leave it. We know-it-alls are a pain in the ass, even if we really are right.
And, if you have no idea what you’re talking about, don’t say a word. Some rude bastard like me might call you on it.
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Almost on the same topic: how can one disengage kindly from people who fuss on your puppy? My dog is two now, but when he was a puppy, we could not walk down the block in less than half an hour. Grant it: he was the prettiest puppy in the world, and loved attention, but there were times when I just wanted to be on my way.
ReplyDeleteWhat slays me is the people with out of control dogs on extendo-leashes on the cell phone who give you dirty looks when your dog growls at their dog. People need to WALK and CONTROL their dogs.
ReplyDeleteSo there.
Lindsey
I find it terribly intrusive to be given unsolicited advice, particularly by self-proclaimed "experts" who come on very aggressively. And then express disappointment when you don't follow the advice!
ReplyDeleteI think we should all welcome advice, as long as it is given graciously. There is not need to be brusque, unless of course the person and her dog are creating a dangerous situation, and one needs to make a point quickly and sharply. Otherwise a polite comment, maybe offered with a smile, could go a long way toward making a person reflect and consider.
ReplyDelete